LETTERMAN

On March 31st of 1994, a highly-charged Madonna appeared as a guest on the Late Show with David Letterman. Over the course of the now-infamous interview she said the word "fuck" a record thirteen times; called Letterman himself a "sick fuck"; asked the host to smell some underwear she was holding; refused to leave the stage when asked; and was jeered by the audience. Her behaviour resulted in numerous complaints, much discussion, and extremely high viewing figures ie it also resulted in some of the highest ratings of Letterman's late-night career.

Dave	Ladies and gentlemen, here she is ... Madonna!
	MUSIC [Holiday by Madonna]
	[Madonna comes out and hands Dave her panties. Dave stuffs them into a drawer when he gets back to his desk]
Dave	How are you doing?
Madonna	I'm only here cause there isn't a Knicks game. Don't get excited.
Dave	Oh, come on. Let's go kiss a guy in the audience. Why don't you go kiss a guy in the audience?
Madonna	Why are you so obsessed with my sex life?
Dave	As we all know, I have none of my own.
Madonna	Well, um ...
Dave	Go kiss the guy in the audience, it would knock him out. Look at that guy [pointing him out]. Just like, on the forehead, just on the forehead --
Madonna	I can't. [both are laughing] He's not tall enough.
Dave	I like that, she said I can't. Lots of people would cave into the pressure and say, "Oh, allll right." They'd go out and kiss him and get it over with.
Madonna	Yeah, well, I've never succumbed to peer pressure.
Dave	Well, good for you. That's what we love about you, Madonna.
Madonna	Yes.
Dave	What brings you --
Madonna	Incidentally, you are a sick fuck. I don't know why I get so much shit.
Dave	You realize this --
Madonna	You're twisted.
Dave	-- is being broadcast, don't you?
Madonna	Yeah. [both are laughing nervously]
Dave	Well you can't be talking like that.
Madonna	What?
Dave	I said ... oh, never mind. What brings you to --
Madonna	Wait a minute. Aren't you going to smell them? [the panties]
Dave	[sighs twice]
Madonna	I gave them to you for a reason.
Dave	Let's see what I'm doing at my house right now, ladies and gentlemen -- [a running gag that evening]
Madonna	No, no, no, no, no!
Dave	I'll take care of that later, it's a lovely --
Madonna	I gave him my, come on, I gave him my underpants and he won't smell. [laughing as Dave sticks them back in his desk drawer]That's not where they go!
Dave	No, that's, no, believe me, that's where the underwear go, That's where ... see, look. Here's where I keep my socks, here's where I keep my panties.
Madonna	[laughing]
Dave	That's where they go
Madonna	No, that's where, that's where you keep my panties.

Madonna	Listen, all you do is talk about my sex life on your show, so now you don't want to talk about my sex life when I'm on your show.
Dave	Now what do you mean? Do you mean because we refer to you periodically, we make jokes --
Madonna	Periodically?
Dave	Yeah.
Madonna	You can't get through a show without talking about me ... or thinking about me.
Dave	[laughing] No, but do you mind that, is that a problem for you?
Madonna	It's never a problem.
Dave	Yeah. All right, I'll tell you what. Let's do, let's do a commercial. Do you want to do a commercial?
Madonna	No.
Dave	Okay, we'll do a commercial.
Madonna	I don't think we should ever cut to a commercial,
Dave	No, we'll --
Madonna	Let's keep talking and film every second of it

Madonna	Don't make me act a fool, Dave, all right? [both are laughing]
Dave	Have a seat.
Madonna	Don't make me ... [out of nowhere] Do you want to touch my dress?
Dave	I would, I would. I would like to touch your dress. [touches dress] Oh, very nice, very nice [sighs, both sit down] I tell you what. We are going to do a commercial and, uh, we are going to wash her mouth out with soap --
Madonna	And he's going to smell my underwear.
Dave	-- and then we'll be right back. Kids, come on back!